Long time no vegan...

Hello Blogworld,

It has been far too long since I made a post on here. And to add fuel to the fire, it has been several years since I stopped being vegan. Yikes. I am still a vegetarian, and will forever be, but I have been struggling with remaining faithful to the sans dairy and eggs lifestyle. I have been going off and on the past few weeks. I tend to get really motivated and then the lose it the very next day. I do plan on finding my strength again. I remember when I was vegan I was so intense and proud of my dietary choice of veganism. I know I can get back in the flow of things. I already feel pretty good about transitioning back to being vegan and have been finding little ways to spark the same passion I had before. In the end it is about compassion for animals and health-and when I think about those two very important factors it makes skipping on that big ol' bowl of Trader Joe's vanilla  ice cream a bit easier...or at least bearable in the meanwhile.

I'm sure no one reads this blog anymore, or heck, maybe no one ever did. But if there is anyone out there let me know if you have gone through a rough time regarding following a vegan diet. I know for me I simply lost my fire. It had also been shortly after I had gotten married and my new husband was anything but vegan. It made it difficult to cook meals together and although he never pushed me away from it, it definitely was a contributing factor. Whatever the reason, I know I am already on my way to becoming a (re)seasoned vegan for life. 

Perhaps you are wondering what has sparked my recent pathway back to the vegan choice. Well, besides the animal cruelty that accompanies the dairy and egg industry, which I cannot ignore any longer, there is the huge factor of health. Granted, even while vegan for about 5 years I suffered stomach problems. But I digress. For the past few years I have been having terrible acne. Superficial yes, but it has impacted me greatly. Even when a raging, hormonal teenage I only ever had the occasional blemish. I turned a vegetarian and soon to vegan when I was about 13/14 years old. Perhaps that contributed to my clear skin. Regardless, I have not been vegan for the past 3 years and I find myself dealing with troubled skin. No bueno. I must add that I also started taking birth control (yuck) around the same time of stopping my vegan diet so that could have also thrown my body for a loop. So here I am. Doing my part to get my body back the natural and balanced state it once was in. I am going to start being active, being vegan, and being the old me again. 

Cheers to being vegan. 

CloudGinger

Football, Pizza, and Granola! Can you say random!?

I am no football fan (sorry?) but I did catch this year's Superbowl with my parents, and it was surprisingly a fun time! Being the first night as an "only child" since my sister and niece just moved to their new house in town, it was a little strange but I am admittedly happy to have my parents to myself.

While watching the bowl I made some mini vegan pizzas which consisted of thin bread, marinara sauce, roasted brussel sprouts, black olives, onion, and my favorite pineapple. They were pretty tasty--woulda been way better with Daiya cheese but I worked with what I could scavenge. My steak-eating dad even enjoyed one saying "loads of flavor" and "interesting"...which I don't know if that's THE best compliment but he ate it so that says a lot for my history of cooking.

When Glee, you know the singing show, came on I found an interesting recipe for granola on Oh She Glows.com(my new obsession) and dove into making it- turned out way better than I expected! I didn't have every little ingredient but the final product was just fine for me. My granola consisted of dried figs, raisins, cashews, and peanuts. With hot soy milk I was pretty much

on  cloud vegan!

My new favorite granola recipe!

So what about you guys? Do you enjoy the Superbowl when it rolls around?



Digging through a frozen waste land for dinnner

I found some frozen bread and a bag of brussels. That's all I needed to be happy...well at least content for the time being until I can crawl my way to civilization and get some, uh, real food (something not frozen please). Like an apple. Sweet. Crunchy. Appppples!!





Bread. Melted Butttter. My buddies the Brussels, roasted. And a cup of joe with soy. Dinner.

 

Yum.

Baby It's Cold Outside? You have no idea!

I am missing fresh foods. I'd kill for an apple right now. Okay so maybe I wouldn't go that far...but considering school has been canceled until Monday I might just go crazy being stuck at home.

Trying to get out of the driveway!

My dad and I ventured into town- which is 20 minutes away on a normal day. The roads were horrible.
But we made it to town only to have the doors of the grocery store locked just as we were driving into the parking lot! Talk about a downer!
Dollar General was the only thing open! Thank goodness. So no fresh fruit or really anything except some packaged soup and raisins...dang. Better than nothing I suppose.

Andrew gettin' wood for the fire

Snow Days: Coffee, Mindless TV Shows, and Nothing Productive

Sunglasses- because snow is BRIGHT! 

Boring, Boring, Boring! 

That's all I can think to say about this week. We got SO much snow! Like 15 inches or something like that.
After a million cups of joe and way too much America's Next Top Model and Keeping up With the Kardashians, my brain feels officially fried.  But I guess snow days are suppose to be completely boring and unproductive.
How would you spend your snow days?

I definitely don't miss school, but I do miss my buddies! One negative thing about living in the country when it snows is you don't see a soul for how ever long you're stuck at home.

The BADS (bailey, anna, dakota, shane)

                                              This is was our "fierce modeling pose"

Recovering isn't an Easy Thing...

Recovering is not easy. Okay so this is truly a Duhhh statement, but I didn't expect for it to be so difficult. I thought I'd make a promise to myself and withhold that promise....But I failed to remember my insanity- or rather this raging, crazy voice inside my head telling me to hate myself. 

I relapsed today. Binged and purged. I thought that I was completely done with that. After my nightmare of my pearly whites falling out and turning to little brown nubs (probably the most impacting dream I've ever had) I promised myself I would NEVER make myself throw up again. But it's like I threw everything out the damn theoretical window and decided to break my vow. I am so sorry for my poor body, my vessel I should treat with the utmost care- since it's the only one I've been given and it has to last me a while. 

I still have hope. I'm still on that road of recovery. Sure it's winding and steep and scary and long but not impossible to take. I'm determined to take this jounrey to health. Weight doesn't matter anymore. Size is absolute. The essentials, the lone essentials are my health and happiness.

And cheers to that. 

:) 

I can't say I will never do IT again, because who knows what, excuse my language, shit can happen inside my confused mind of mine  But I sure hope I will never allow myself to get into that situation. I need to listen to my heart because it's screaming at me to get better.

Being Proud

The Challenge: A Better Body

Feeling good about yourself is essential to finding joy, and of course physical and mental health. I'm not talking becoming skin and bones or that "perfect body weight." Rather, being fit and healthy. I'm definitely not fat AT ALL. I sure feel it sometimes but that's beside the point. Everyone has tidbits about themselves they wish they could alter. My not-so-great body attributes would be my stomach. I look fairly skinny everywhere but the middle.

Basically the foods I love are making my belly flab stick around- even with all the crunches and running. Crappy junk-food leads way to a crappy body, for me at least.

So here's my CHALLENGE (A challenge for sure): Eat only pure foods. No more white, empty carbohydrates. No more empty calories. NO MORE JUNK! 

Pure foods like vegetables, fruits, whole grains (like quiona, rice, and whole wheat bread), and proteins (like tofu, tempeh, nuts).

This is my body before: 

 

I'm totally trying to hide my bod...BUT as you can see, my stomach needs to decrease in size! And it will!








The AFTER shot is in progress....

I'm Hungry For Some Hunger Games!

So to subdue my appetite until the movie comes out, here's my own choice cast for the movie:
(It hasn't been officially cast yet but some names have been thrown around)

Katniss Everdeen- Olive skin and dark hair

 

 

   Hailee Steinfeld

       Or


   Lilly Collins








Peeta Mellark- Blond and Stocky/Tall

      Alex Pettyfer






              Or

    
     William Moseley (My personal favorite)







Gale Hawthorne (I have no real personal preferences- perhaps someone new) 

     Aaron Johnson




Primrose Everdeen

Savanna Kylie Lewis- a fantastic undiscovered actress. She was Rue in this short film The Hunger Games- Katniss and Rue

 

 

Cinna

  Orlando Bloom 

Haymitch 

Jeff Bridges- Dude, totally! 

    Or 

     Gerard Butler 

            :)

Mrs. Everdeen  

    Charlize Theron- or someone new who looks like this. 

Effie Trinket  

   Kristen Chenoweth- she's even been interviewed talking about THG! That's legit. 

Madge 

Abigail Breslin

Glimmer 

Pretty with blond hair- 

like Taylor Swift here.

Clove 

An actress who's tall and a good, uh, actress.

Foxface 

Me of course!

TGH

The Hunger Games

 I feel rather silly posting something about this book series- mainly because it's so gigantic already. But perhaps for those who are unware this will be of benefit. (What?! Who wouldn't know about THG?!? I know right!)

This is a fabulous book series about a post-apocalyptic world called Panem. The story is told from the sixteen-year old Katniss Everdeen's point of view. 

There are 12 districts, each fulfilling a purpose to supply the all powerful Capital with whatever they need. Food, clothing, diamonds, coal, etc. Each district has a job they are forced to do. Katniss is from District 12, the poorest and the least "controlled" district. 

 Panem had gone through a horrible world war. The Districts had rebelled against the government and many cities and people were wiped out. North America ultimately became Panem. The Capital decided to create The Hunger Games, a fight-or-die game where a boy and girl from the ages of 12-18 would become tributes from each district. 24 tributes and only one survivor. The Games were created to simply remind the Districts of the Capital's power. To remind them of their dictating power over all of Panem. 

Only Katniss Everdeen does not expect her younger sister Prim to be called in the Reaping. She does not expect to volunteer for her. Does not expect the boy who once saved her life to be facing her in the Games. She does not expect to find love. She expects only death, as everyone does who lives in Panem and is forced to view the Games on TV. Only expectations are best left behind. William Shakespeare seems to say it best, "Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits."

Hope I gave a justifiable description of THG. It's hard to describe something you know so much about- without giving too much away! 

Read this book! (There are two sequels too: Catching Fire and Mockingjay)

Image by

alicecullen88

Peace

Sitting here 

on this piece of earth 

More peace than deserved,

more peace than I feel.

Confession Time

The left picture is in 8th grade when I started "dieting" or rather starving myself. The right is about 4 years later and 10 or so pounds gained. I may weigh more now but I am way more happy!

In all honesty, I have not been spending my time wisely. I'm a big procrastinator, I spend way too much time on the computer, I watch more television than I should, and I'm prefer to be lazy. I'm definitely  not perfect. I've had my fair share of sufferings, some which I'd can't elaborate on. For the past few years I've dealt with eating problems. Hopefully I can overcome them, hopefully I can work out my body issues and learn to love myself for who I am. 

I weigh about 135. I'm 18 years old and am 5 feet 6 inches. I'm normal! But there's a part of me that wishes I could always be better, thinner, smarter. It's ridiculous. It seems since about 8th grade I've tried to become someone else. I started dying my hair red, wearing green contacts, and became super thin. I thought by transforming myself I'd become happy. Only it made things far worse. I'm now obsessive with food, my body, and little things I know don't really matter. In a way, even if it pretty much sucks to admit, I'm a wreck. But then again who isn't these days? 
Perhaps I'll take my transgressions and use them in a way that will help me grow. If I become an actress, a writer, photographer, or what ever I find do with my life, I know I'll have my past to influence my choices. 
I pray I can discover the path to happiness. 
Looking is the first step.